Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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