a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
