can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
