i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
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One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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