I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize