who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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