I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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