SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
