my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
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The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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