I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
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I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
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I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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