is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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