Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
