The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Your cock deserves a montage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The uberlube is also flammable
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize