SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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