at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
