He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize