Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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