turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
