Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
