she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
