your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
