she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
