Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize