Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
