My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
