apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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