R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
