I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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