I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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