they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
