Christians are straight up FREAKS
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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