: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
