Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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