I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
