i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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