Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
