No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
