Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
