I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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