i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
