he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
