do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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