If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
