she woke up with a sticky ear
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
