I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
