We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize