my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
