I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
