chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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