I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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