I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
