what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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