dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
