Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
