He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
