she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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