Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
