im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
