whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
