He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
