Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
