at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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