I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Randomize
